It happened. It finally happened and I caught her in the act. Let me explain. Yesterday we stopped at the liquor store. I was having a really hard time walking. It was a nightmare. I was fibro walking to the max, including frequent stops at the posts so that I could make it to my car.
I tried to go quickly to the car. You warriors know how this is.. Coming in hot bitches, better not be in my seat.. I looked at her as I turned around to squeeze my ass in the car and there she stood with her shorts and cowboy boots and cute little hat..
She was laughing at me. She caught me looking and said “Are you okay?” with that big fake smile those pretty bitches have that make men melt? You know what I mean. Except I am not a man and my life is falling apart.
I answered her.. I said.. venomously, that I have fibromyalgia. She stopped laughing. Hubby says I look drunk when I fibro walk, but I really don’t. I need to lean because I am weak but I am not wobbly. At any rate, he fell for the pretty smile. I knew better.
I cried on the way home. I know that a million people talk about me behind my back.. I am ok with that. When you see that I am obviously in a great deal of pain and you laugh at me.. 2 days after I find out that I cannot finish the 24 credits I need for school? Well it was too fucking much.
She giggled and shook her ass and every little ol thing was just fine. I was not fine. Not even close. I do not even see a FINE in my future. I know it is there and I will find my path again. I am used to starting over.
Today has been better. My heart is not hurting quite so much. I feel like I have some options and I know that, at some point, I will finish school. Until then I will simply have to kick ass wherever I can.
So, even when it is out of the kindness of your heart (not the case with the tiny shorts girl), remember, that someone walking/talking/wheeling.. whatever, if they are not falling down or yelling for help, a simple smile and a hello is needed, we will tell you if help is what we need.