This particular piece is about what I have learned concerning, well, learning. You see.. As most of you warriors know our bodies are broken. Our abilities to do almost everything are gone. Leaving us a seemingly useless lump of skin, bones, and fat. I decided a while ago that I was going to fight that every damn step of the way. I fight it every day, but I relish the fight and I am strong like an ox because of it.
I had to let go of a few things. My pride, for one. When you are in the middle of a crowd and you are going down because your legs won’t hold your weight any longer.. well you got to laugh that off. My husband and I make jokes when this happens. We say “it’s happening” like the bride in Bridesmaids movie when she shit in the street. It makes us laugh and it makes everyone else figure that we are just drunken idiots. I had to stop caring.
We all do this, we all say “I don’t care what people think of me” but then deep down inside we totally care. I used to lie about it all the time. Once I got fibro and it got worse.. it stole my life.. it stole my happiness, it ruined everything.
THEN, then.. that is the moment when I truly realized that my suffering gave me a pass. I don’t have to give two shits what anyone thinks of me. I LIVE in pain. My life is pain. If you don’t like me then you can piss right off. It’s a freedom unlike any I have known before. It’s a huge step in learning how to make your life the best it can be now.
Tips For The Family
I have written some about family. Husbands, kids etc. How to deal with them is as important as how you deal with your personal stuff that is just about you.
Concerning your family, like I said before, unless they ask you just continue about your day as you were, don’t talk about how you feel (this will create a strength unlike anything you can imagine).. However, this is an extra tip. They know that you are sick, tell them something positive or funny.. even if you are flat on your back on the couch.
Add little things to what you do. For example, I stopped all housework, it hurts. So, I did some dishes one day. Didn’t point it out. But they notice, and they appreciate it AND it is proof that you are trying. It doesn’t have to be housework, there will be moments for you to try something you thought you could no longer do.
Try it. I am crafting again. Painting, writing, moving around more, pinterest is your friend, make some stuff that you like looking at. DO NOT create for anyone but yourself. Make what YOU like to look at. It helps build character and you learn things about yourself. Maybe you end up making awesome stuff and you can hang it on your wall etc.
WARNING… Sometimes you really literally cannot do a thing, but that doesn’t matter.. what matters is that you tried. Do not hurt yourself, that is NOT what I mean here.
People who have chronic pain avoid doing things because it hurts.. sometimes we can do a different version of a thing and still feel a sense of pride and accomplish what we thought we never would again.
This is not just for show either, this is growth within you. This is you trying.
The final anecdote I have today is this one. I have a game on my phone that I played for a couple of years straight. Whenever I was waiting or whatever. I have logged an embarrassing number of hours playing this game.
I stopped for a few months. Actually, 6 months.. stopped playing for that long. I just started again and I am using a totally different strategy than I did before. I mean, it is like a different game, I am playing that differently. I am winning a lot more. The new strategy should have been my strategy all along.
These are chairs that were baby blue, so I painted them…
You are probably wondering why the hell I am talking about a game. Well, the thing is.. the strategy part. It fits with the points I try to make with you warriors. Give yourself some time. Think about what you used to do. Cry it out if you have to.. then try it again with a whole new strategy and you never know what you might end up finding that you can do.