Category Archives: Amish Stories

Some Entertainment and Fun

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Okay, so I know that I have a following of FMS warriors and I usually talk about that.  However, today I am going to tell a couple of stories that should make you laugh.  They are at least entertaining. I will start with the most recent.  I am a car girl.  I have been since I was in high school.

I changed a tire, by myself, in the middle of Lancaster city.  I love cars.  My favorite car is a BMW E30.  Now, don’t get it wrong. These are not the BMW you are thinking of.  E30’s are for driving.  That’s it.  That is why they are so amazing.  Here is a picture of mine.  They don’t even have cup holders..  they are for driving.  Period. 11001918_10206279604375293_829973652130744141_n I named her Envy and she is the best car ever.  I don’t plan on ever having another car..  ever.  So, OKAY…  the rest of the story.. I was on my way somewhere when a car pulled out in front of me, but really it was going to T-bone me..  I channeled my inner race car driver and because I was in that car ^^ the one you see up there..  I managed to do the coolest maneuver ever. I cut the wheel to the left so far that if it was any other car I would have spun out.

This was the decisive moment of the day..  I should have spun out..  thanks to Envy I didn’t.  I literally fishtailed, steering into the spin for a good 50 yards..  I was in control the whole time. I should be dead.  I should be dead and Envy is supposed to be wrecked.  I did hit him..  there is a tiny crack in my front bumper.  We can fix her very easily. I got out of the car and the ass hole tried to yell that it was an accident.  There was a guy in a truck on the other side of the intersection who looked like this: Close-up of surprised man's face, with open mouth.   He couldn’t believe that I managed to mostly miss the ass hat in the buick..  I am also sure that he stuck around in case I needed a witness.  He just ended up seeing the coolest, worst, scariest car accident ever.

THEN icing on the cake..  this tie dyed hippy lady jumps out of the car and starts screaming at the idiot that pulled out without looking onto a 55 MPH road.  I gave him the finger with both of my hands, checked the bumper.. and left.

Now, up until this point I was operating on pure adrenaline.  Then I crashed from the adrenaline…  for someone with fibro to crash is to get this ache in your brain.  Worse than any headache, I am pretty sure it is PTSD.  I had my phone hooked up so I could hands free talk.. I was bawling my eyes out by this point.  I pulled into a really busy gas station and called Jason..  that phone call went something like this…

I had the window down and at least 10 people staring at me in my car doing that ^^I literally hit the guy, but managed to swing around so no more damage was done on my Envy…  Moral of the story..  Get a BMW..  NO OTHER car I have ever had would have avoided total destruction like Envy did.

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Friends, Please Read. I Remember, Then I Broke, I Miss My Life.. I Want You Back

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Friends, Please Read. I Remember, Then I Broke, I Miss My Life..  I Want You Back

I am 39 years old.  I have two sons, who I had when I was still young.  They are 17 and 18 years old.  I remember that feeling, when I was young and married to an Army guy..  I remember when the grocery store was my “get out of the house” card.  I always felt slighted because I wanted to do the fun stuff the other people my age were doing.

Now I am more than happy to only leave the house in a weeks time to go to Walmart.  With fibromyalgia everything is more difficult, going out nearly takes an act of congress.  Putting on a bra nearly does me in these days.

I have friends and I am afraid to hang out with them because I am afraid that they won’t like the new me.  I am so much different, I am scared to lose them as friends.  I miss them so much.  But the fear of losing them forever keeps me away.

They live far away, so it isn’t that difficult to maintain contact on the internet..  Because then I show them what I want them to see.  I don’t want to be dishonest, but I am fucking terrified that none of you will like me anymore.

I found occasional help with the boys and I have had a great life, but I remember…  I remember saying to my husband, “yeah you think that going to Walmart counts as an outing” and at the time I remember..  It didn’t count, I struggled for a long time.

Incredibly bored and lonely, this was before internet, this was before cell phones.  I remember that I was different and I could walk and I could think and I had friends; some of which are still my friends, from afar, because I am fucking terrified that they won’t like who I have become.

I could keep up with my boys.  I got lucky there.  I stayed healthy while they grew.  Healthy enough to really make up for how shitty I was in the beginning.  Then I was 30 and I had to re-evaluate.  I remember when I felt like I had it all.

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I remember getting a manager job at Walmart, where I literally walked miles every single day.  I remember thinking even though the job was sort of shitty, I had it all.  I was able to camp all weekend with my family.

I remember.   I remember having rough times, with drugs, with myself, with my marriage.  I fought and struggled and we fixed our marriage, I fixed how I was with my kids..  I still didn’t think it counted as a trip out when all I was doing was going to Walmart.  But I was happy.  I was happy and I didn’t take it for-granted..  thank the light for that.

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I spent many years content.

I couldn’t wait to hang out at the Happy Hippy Haven every single weekend.  During those parties I never had a bed, I was able to sleep on the floor, or not sleep, which was often the case.  However, I had the time of my life.

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I remember watching my kids grow and that will forever be the best accomplishment I am likely to make.  They are beautiful people who are going to make the world a better place and I am more proud of that achievement than anything else I can imagine for myself.

So, I worked..  I was there for three years.  They were pretty great.  We had money.  We finally found an awesome rental house.  Things were going our way.  I even went and I bought a brand new Kia.

Then I started feeling like my lower back was numb, and I would get horrible shooting pains.  Then I remember hanging some shirts above my head and holding my arm up seemed to be harder and harder every day, and this really scared me because it was summer, the stuff was not heavy.

I remember when a co-worker made a joke and tapped me on my arm and it HURT, and it hurt for a really long time.  I knew that day that something was seriously wrong.  I felt in my gut that this was the beginning of something.

I remember when I used to take comfort in a shower.  I remember when I could hang out with my friends.  I remember when I could dance and spin records.  I wish so very much that I could forget, because even as I type it brings tears to my eyes.  I miss my life.  I miss my friends.

I have spent the last few years figuring out who I am, with this life altering disorder.  My whole life is different.  Everything is different.  I love getting to go to Walmart once a week.  I am really good at being happy with what I have.

I fucking want more.  I want to see more of my friends.  I want to try more stuff.  I miss my life, but I will be damned if I lose another second of living to this fucked up monster that lives in my brain.

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Please text me friends.  I miss you.  I want you to decide for yourself if you still want to hang out.  Having a few left is so much better than closing myself off to all of you.  I get it if I am too much..  but I will not give up without trying.

Live, Love, and fight like a girl ❤

Living in Amish Country PA Mission Impossible a Runaway Buggy

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Living in Amish Country PA Mission Impossible a Runaway Buggy

Yes, I do mean the one from the show.  I am pretty sure I have seen the black Amish guy, but they were cutting down a tree so maybe I was trying to distract myself from that.

This also brings me to my first thing about the Amish, they hate trees.  They buy or own a house, and they chop all the trees down.  I hate it.  It is one of the things that I do not like about them.  They don’t know what conservation is.

I have a photo I can take of a tree that was hundreds, if not thousands of years old… I get sick in my stomach and I have a terrible reaction to it, but I am working on distraction level 1000 today, so maybe I will go snap a couple of shots so you can see what they do.

I can add that they plant there, and they use the tree for firewood, they don’t usually sell it for money, but they do sometimes I am sure.  I know the tree I mentioned here went to the sawmill, it was beautiful.  I feel a little shitty just typing about it.

We rent here, we could never afford land here.  Renters know that you can rarely stay in a house for more than three or so years.

The house that we lived in before this one was on a relatively quiet street.  When you spend your days at home listening to road sounds, you know when something is off.  It isn’t like living in a town or a city…

We were watching television and we heard this horse running really really fast.  WAY faster than it should be.  We look out in time to see that there was no one in the buggy, just a horse..  running fast.

I stepped outside and I looked up the street to an intersection that was at the edge of the property.  There was an amish kid (16) laying in the road.  I ran to him, and ordered my sons to bring clean towels and warm water.  No, he wasn’t in labor, but the buggy had run over his head..

So, as you can see from this clip, buggies are not light.  They are not designed to make life for the horses easy…

So, his wound was pretty bad and I sat in the road with him tending to his wound and trying to help with the shock.

We lived right next door to a young Amish couple.  Man, I miss her pies.  She would send the little boys over, in their hats, to bring me pies and flowers from her garden.  They don’t speak english until they are older so I learned thank you in Dutch.

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Anyway, their father apparently (this part was relayed to me by my husband) ran up to Jason and said, “will you help me catch that buggy?” to which my husband replied “Hell yeah” obviously picturing the possibilities of an outright buggy chase in our little white Kia that we had at the time.

They took off down the road, moving fast.  The Amish guy positioned himself on the edge of the window, with his feet on the door.  They tried once, they got the car up beside the buggy and a car came, they had to get back over.

The Amish guy got in an even more precarious position because he then had as much of himself in the window, ready to jump, as he could fit.  They tried again, got beside the buggy and this is no shit..  the Amish dude jumped out, grabbed the reigns and saved the day..  well the horse, and probably some humans and a couple of cars.

The horses will stay in their lane, but they don’t stop all by themselves at a stop sign.  They had a mile to get the buggy and they did it.  James Bond style, jumping from the car to the buggy.

I swear this is a true story, we called an ambulance, back at grassy and bleeding corner…  he needed seen by a Doctor, no matter how much he protested…

I went to pick up his mother and take her to the hospital.  It was the only time in my  whole life that I have ever seen an Amish person have emotions, she cried when she finally got to her son.  Shit, the poor woman was already a widow…

She was fine the whole way to the hospital.  As soon as she saw her son, though, she broke down and cried for about 30 seconds.

I can say that was a pretty exciting day..  But I saw a harsh reality that day also.  Amish don’t have insurance.  They had him in the hallway and when we left for the drive home after his X-rays he was still bleeding, they didn’t even give him anything to bandage it up.  I saw that day how people that don’t have insurance are really treated and that was sad.

On a lighter note, hubby will always have the memory of being an Amish James Bond…  and the kid was okay.